Abraham spoke up again: “See how I am presuming to speak to my Lord, though I am but dust and ashes!” – Genesis 18:27
If you are wondering why I started this posting from a quote from the Bible, it is simple; I think it is a very important verse. Here we have a man, just like you and me, made of dust and ash, talking to God as if he was talking to his neighbor or coworker. He just speaks and God is there to respond. Very simple but yet so powerful is the act of talking to God.
I bring all this up because in one of my recent postings, I talked about how I am going to head down the correct path. How when I came to the fork in the road, I am working on heading in the right direction. The posting was vague; I really did not explain what I was trying to express. I am sure it also may have sounded like it came out of nowhere. I will attempt to clarify some of that here in this posting.
In another previous posting, I spoke about how I started to attend Mass again after not going for such a long time. One question that I have been asked several times was why did I stop attending Mass in the first place after I started telling people that I started going again. In that posting, I said that the reason I stopped attending was I did not like attending Mass alone. As I have had some time to think about this, I have realized that there is a much deeper message in that statement. The reason I stop attending Mass wasn’t just because I didn’t have anyone to go with, but I stopped feeling God there with me in the sense that I had come accustomed too. It was almost as though He was no longer there with me. I think that was the biggest reason to why I stopped attending Mass.
So now we flash forward a few years to the point where I decided to go back to Church. I started having this feeling as though I needed to go back for some reason. About a week after I attended that first Mass, God explained to me why I no longer felt Him in the same why I had before. He let me know that I no longer needed to depend on him like I did in the past, which was similar to a baby depending on his mom for everything. He let me know that I now can stand next to Him, similar to what Abraham was doing when he was talking to God about Sodom. I am now able to stand next to God and have a conversation similar to those Abraham had.
The reason why this all scares me is because I have been a depended person all my life. But lately I have been feeling that God has been working on putting me in positions where I need to lead, not depended on others. There seems to be more situations in my life then ever where I need to stand on my own two feet and do what is right, not only for me, but for others around me. Doing these things are totally out of character for me and most often, not comfortable doing. However, I do do most of the stuff that I feel God is asking me to do.
Yes, it is scary to stand on one’s own two feet when they are not used to doing so. But I do find comfort in knowing that God is the one that wants me to stand next to Him. That He will still be there with me, just in a little bit of a different role than before. I do look forward to doing all I can to help others out and making as many positive changes as I can to this world. I know this road will not be easy, but I know it’s the right road to be on.
Usually I try to end my postings with a question, but I do not really know what to ask here. I guess all that I can ask is that we keep praying for each other because God does listen.