Email to a Reader

A few weeks ago a reader sent me the following message:

Hey Joe,

Just curious if you had any update on your Courage experience?

I allows find it great that people that I don’t even know are interested in what is going on in my life and what I have decided about I discuss on this site. The responded to him as followed.

How are you doing? Thanks for the posting a comment on my site and for sending me this email. It’s always great to hear what others have to say and to know someone is really reading what I write.

I am sorry to hear that you had such a bad experience with Courage. I think I would have done something similar as you did if the Courage group I went too was ran by individuals that were homophobic. If you are going to be a part of any group, it should be one that you feel a part of and believe in what they are doing.

The courage group that I kind of attend is a little different than that. The priest that runs it isn’t homophobic. There hasn’t been any attempts during the 3 meetings I attended to put anyone down or make them feel shameful of their actions. The guys in the group and the priest do seem to respect each other as people and understand that it is a struggle to live one’s life as a gay catholic. The priest even wrote a small book on how one should live their life having the “issue” of being attracted to someone of the same sex. I don’t agree with everything in that book, but there was a lot of useful stuff in it. One thing that surprised me was that he seem to understand that it was a human need to be touched and loved. Hugging and touching each other (in non sexual ways) is needed in life. I think this in an area many people don’t understand and seem to get confused on. It seems that in our society, we don’t realize all the different forms of intimacy that we can have with each other, not just intimacy in a sexual way.

I think the issue that I have had with the group is it may not be what I was looking for. I am looking for a place to make some new friends that have the same beliefs as I do and have some common interest. I want to find a place where I belong. The Courage group that I attended was more based on a therapy type model. The priest has a degree in Social something or other and there are 2 psychologist in the group, so I think that has a big part the way the group is ran.

But the issue is I’m looking to make some new friends and not have to worry about them trying to take advantage of me. This group is more focused on how to live your life having “same sex” attractions. So what it really comes down to is what I am looking for and what this group has to offer. I just am not sure it is what I am looking for.

If you are wonder, we haven’t had a group in the last 2 months. Last month one of the guys in the group called to let me know that the group was canceled. He did say that he was going to get a hold of me in a few weeks, but that never happened. I really wasn’t surprised by that and I really never counted on him calling me later on either. So right now I’m looking at it like this, are these the type of people that I want to be friends with and currently I’m leaning towards no.

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